ADHD: Diagnosed at 30
Addressing Common ADHD Myths
Today, I was
diagnosed with ADHD after 30 whole years of being alive. Being diagnosed in
adulthood can bring up a mixture of emotions: relief, sadness, anger, grief.
For me, I’m still processing the diagnosis and I’m not really sure what I feel
(it could be that my brain is now asleep after lying awake all night in anticipation
of my early morning assessment!). I had been planning a blog post on ADHD for a
while, regardless of the outcome of my assessment. I’ve come across a lot of
very common, but harmful, misconceptions and judgements people seem to hold. I think these are a result of misinformation, so I hope to provide some education, understanding and awareness to address the
myths that are out there. Chances are, you know someone who has ADHD or another
form of neurodiversity whether they are diagnosed or not (maybe its even
yourself), and understanding and compassion can go a long way.
What is ADHD?
ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and
can involve struggles with attention, concentrating and impulsivity. It is a neurodevelopmental
condition, which means it affects how your brain functions and develops growing
up, causing social, cognitive and emotional functioning difficulties. Whilst
disorders like ADHD first present in childhood, many persist into adulthood. Aside
from all this jargon, it is literally just a different way of thinking that is
very common - in the UK it is estimated 3-4% of people have ADHD, but I personally believe this is a lot higher taking into account people undiagnosed or misdiagnosed.
What does ADHD look like in women?
I would be here all day if I were to list all of my signs and symptoms I can attribute to ADHD, so I will only touch upon a few. In my personal experience, I feel like my symptoms are more subtle and easily masked, but these may present in anyone regardless of gender.
- I’m constantly fidgeting, but you may not notice me twirling my hair around my fingers, shaking my leg or playing with my hands under the table.
- I am a master of pretending I am listening or have understood something when I am actually completely zoned out. I can really force myself to listen when its important to, but then this leaves me very exhausted afterwards.
- I can give eye contact whilst someone is talking to me, but I can’t say more than a sentence if I’m giving eye contact as I will completely lose my train of thought.
- Chaotic thought processes that you can’t see
- Impulsive decisions
- Severe impatience with anything and everything
- Being a ‘jack of all trades, master of none’
- Difficulties with time management
Is ADHD a mental illness?
ADHD is not a mental illness, it’s a neurodevelopmental disorder
which has strong genetic/biological causes and people are therefore born with. Nevertheless,
ADHD often leads to chronic overwhelm, and people with ADHD are more likely to have
difficult or traumatic life experiences which may lead to mental health conditions
such as depression and anxiety disorders. For example, I have struggled with
low self-esteem, social anxiety and burnout from stress over the years. I’ve
been in therapy a lot (therapists need therapy too!), and whilst I’ve addressed
some of these issues, the symptoms of ADHD continue to persist.
Is ADHD a disability?
The Equality Act (2010) defines a disability as “a physical
or mental impairment that has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on a
person’s ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities.” Based on this
definition – yes, ADHD is a disability.
Are people with ADHD just lazy?
No. If we were lazy we wouldn’t feel the immense guilt we do
when we’re not ‘productive’, yet this is a myth I have heard quite often. Whilst people with ADHD may struggle in a lot of
areas in their lives, there is a misconception that people with ADHD can’t keep
a job, get good grades, finish education etc. This may be a true struggle for some,
but everyone’s experience of how their ADHD impacts their life and how severely can be different.
For me, I enjoyed learning in primary school and thrived in the structure of it, but in secondary school I started to get bored. Mix this
with puberty and things went quickly downhill (hormones are known to impact the
severity of ADHD symptoms). I did poorly in subjects I had no interest for, but
well in the subjects I enjoyed. This was clearly evident in my achievements at
university – Psychology is a passion of mine so I was able to hyperfocus and do
really well whilst studying this. People with ADHD can focus really well, sometimes
too well, if they have a strong interest in something. This doesn’t mean that
education and working hasn’t come without its struggles for me though; I have
had a lot of experiences throughout my life of people believing I am ‘lazy’, ‘dozy’,
or 'book-smart with no common sense’. I may not be able to tell you much about
history or geography, as these don’t interest me, but I’m really confident in
my knowledge when it comes to Psychology, mental health or any other of my
passions!
People with ADHD have a lot of strengths too. They are often
passionate, creative, sensitive, fun, empathetic and out of the box thinkers
amongst a lot of other positive things. Below are a list of just some celebrities
who have said they have ADHD who I think have a lot of these traits too!
- Emma Watson
- Ryan Gosling
- Will Smith
- Billie Joe Armstrong and Tre Cool
- Dave Grohl
- Paris Hilton
- Nelly Furtado
- Zooey Deschanel
- Greta Gerwig
- Sam Thompson
- Youtubers/streamers such as Jacksepticeye, Hasan Piker and Jarvis Johnson
- Yungblud
-
Does everyone have ADHD?
No. Then why does everyone seem to be getting diagnosed with
ADHD now? Why do so many people relate to the symptoms? Common questions a lot
of people seem to wonder. It is no lie that the rate of people getting ADHD
diagnoses is on the rise in recent years. I would argue ADHD is a normal way of
thinking. As with anything, it can be on a spectrum of mild to severe. Very occasional
forgetfulness or inattention will not meet the criteria for a diagnosis. If
society was different, and accommodating, I don’t believe this would be known as a 'disorder'. Experts even argue an evolutionary advantage to ADHD minds in the
past, where they thrived in more ‘hunter-gatherer’ societies. Unfortunately, society
right now is tailored more to ‘neurotypicals’.
If you watch a TikTok checklist video on ADHD symptoms and think ‘well, I relate to that and I don’t have ADHD’ then
- Maybe you do… OR
- Your experiences of these symptoms aren’t persistent, don’t have a continuous negative impact on your life or weren’t experienced in early childhood.
A favourite analogy of mine is the idea that everybody also pees, but if you’re peeing 50x a day there may be something else going on!
Another thing to consider in terms of the rise in diagnosis, is how there have been a lot of recent developments in the understanding of conditions such as ADHD and Autism. Our understanding of the world is constantly changing as we learn and discover new things - there was a time we thought the world was flat, we thought women who showed any signs of poor mental health were 'hysteric', we thought ADHD in women was rare and adults couldn’t have ADHD. Only in 2008 was it recognised that adults can have ADHD, and only in 2018 were the guidelines updated to address the issue of under-diagnosis of ADHD in girls and women. (see ADHD NICE Guidelines)
To demonstrate this further, below is a graph of the rates of left-handedness in the USA, taken from the Washington Post (2015).
Do I have ADHD?
A good starting place to understanding if you have ADHD is to take a psychometric test, such as this one https://www.clinical-partners.co.uk/for-adults/adult-adhd-add/test-for-adhd
This would not be the same as a
diagnosis, but would be useful to take to your GP to request a referral for a
full assessment. As with anything like this, doing your research and speaking
to a professional is important as there are many conditions that have the same
symptoms of this that may explain your symptoms better. Your psychiatrist
during your assessment should screen out for any other potential explanations.
Below is a list of some other conditions where symptoms overlap
or are similar to ADHD. Some of these conditions may be misdiagnosed as ADHD or
vice versa.
- Autism
- Dyspraxia
- Learning disabilities
- Personality Disorders (e.g. Borderline Personality Disorder)
- Bipolar Disorder
- Schizophrenia
- Anxiety Disorders
- Complex PTSD
- Depression
- Hypothyroidism
- Substance abuse (drugs or alcohol)
- Even if you have the above conditions or issues, you could still have ADHD too. There is a lot of overlap and comorbidity, which again emphasises the importance of speaking to a professional. Even if you don’t end up diagnosed with ADHD, that doesn’t make what you’re going through isn’t valid – your struggles are still real, and it is still a step forward in understanding yourself. Therapy may further help you with this.
Can ADHD be treated with therapy?
ADHD unfortunately can’t be cured with therapy and treatment
usually involves medication. However, ADHD coaching and therapy does exist to
help manage symptoms. At F&B Digital Therapy, we can work with the
resultant mental health issues that arise from living with ADHD.
Does Cognitive Behavioural Therapy work for ADHD?
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a practical approach
to therapy looking at breaking negative cycles between your thoughts, feelings
and behaviours. CBT will not cure ADHD. It can, however, help change your
negative thought processes towards yourself, help you understand where they
came from and teach you how to build your confidence back up again. CBT can
also help teach problem solving strategies, skills to deal with difficult
emotions and techniques to manage anxiety, worry and stress that comes with
living with ADHD. Through my own personal CBT, I have learned how to be more
accepting of myself and my confidence has grown as a result.
Here at F&B Digital Therapy, we provide online text-based and telephone therapy - We
know accessing NHS services in the UK is often not neurodiverse friendly. There
can be long waiting lists, high levels of uncertainty, and expectations of
having to engage in face to face/video appointments.
Text therapy can be helpful for those with ADHD as:
·
You don’t have to mask as much as a face to
face/telephone interaction.
·
You may find it easier to process written
information.
·
It may be less overwhelming.
·
You can
attend sessions in the comfort of your own home, where there may be less
distractions.
·
You may find it less exhausting.
·
You can revisit your sessions afterwards if you
need more time to process the information.
If you would like to get started with F&B Digital Therapy, book an appointment now!
Do you need urgent support right now?
If you would like more information, don’t hesitate
to drop us an email at fandbtherapy@hotmail.com, or follow our
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/fandbtherapy/ and
TikTok @fabdigitaltherapy.
